Impact Statement

A few days ago, I sealed my envelope addressed to the Department of Corrections, held it to my heart for good luck, then placed it in the mailbox. About one month before, I had received a notice from the state, alerting me to the fact that Matthew Bryant was coming up for parole soon. I had the option of writing an impact statement, they said, for the parole board to read. The hearing is scheduled for October 9th, the Victims Services representative told me. “So just call us on October 10th and we’ll be able to tell you if they’ve decided to release him,” she said. Just like that, I thought. One phone call and you’ll be able to tell me if a monster is allowed to be free again; if he’s allowed to be with his family, fall in love, have children, watch a sunset.

This notice came shortly after the 12 year anniversary of Ericha’s death, as well as weeks after I’d begun to dig through my memories of Ericha’s murder in my therapy sessions. I felt a bit overwhelmed. I didn’t want to have to deal with the possibility of one of Ericha’s murderers being released now. I feared that my emotions regarding this topic were too raw now to be able to deal with that possibility. I put off writing the impact statement until the approaching parole hearing date made it necessary to push myself to complete the statement.

I felt that I had to participate in some way. I felt that I had to keep Ericha’s memory alive in whatever way I could, including in the minds of the parole board members who’d be meeting with Matthew in a few weeks. Matt had been sentenced to 23 years in prison for his role in Ericha’s death. He has served 10 years of his sentence. Sure, 10 years is more than the minimum. But to me – it’s not enough. He owes Ericha more than 10 years. He owes me more than 10 years. He owes my family more than 10 years. He owes the world more than 10 years for brutally taking away one of its most beautiful souls.